Archive for the ‘Fashion’ Category

October 7

January 1st, 2011 Comments off

You never sound as smart or appear as appealing as you think you do.

You also don’t have as many friends as you think you do. Happy birthday!

September 29

December 16th, 2010 Comments off

You are not what you wear. You are not what you sell. You are not what you drive. You are not where you live. You are what you strive to be.

So, I strive to be a guy in Hugo Boss who drives the Batmobile from his home on Lake Como to his job selling Dyson Air Multiplierâ„¢ bladeless fans.

September 16

July 10th, 2010 Comments off

When someone’s down, don’t pile on.

And when someone’s wearing down, don’t nylon.

Categories: Fashion, Father Knows Best

August 22

May 26th, 2010 Comments off

No need to strain yourself. Just one great idea a year is all that’s necessary.

No, “growing a soul patch” doesn’t count.

August 3

December 27th, 2009 Comments off

If you have to choose cheap, don’t choose cheap and ugly.

Yes, be sure to get that cheap, pretty stuff we’re always hearing about.

June 30

October 14th, 2009 Comments off

Never try to out-trade a man wearing bib overalls and highly polished shoes.

Because he obviously traded his suit for those overalls, so he’s a pro, all right.

May 31

July 13th, 2009 Comments off

Dress a little better than your clients but not as well as your boss.

The phenomenon in which your clients dress better than your boss is called “Armani’s Paradox.” (See Efron, B. (1990). More efficient stitching computations. J. Amer. Statist. Assoc.)

May 19

July 6th, 2009 Comments off

Young people foolish with their money rarely change their ways.

Or their underwear.

I mean, not buying clean underwear is pretty foolish, you have to admit.

April 4

May 3rd, 2009 Comments off

When interviewing for a job, wear your very best.

Rainbow wig.

March 21

March 30th, 2009 Comments off

When visiting parents and in-laws, dress respectfully.

Sure, they may initially be uncomfortable with the sight of you dressing in front of them, but when your in-laws see you’re doing it respectfully…

Categories: Fashion, Father Knows Best

March 2

March 2nd, 2009 Comments off

Learn how to press a shirt like a professional.

Let me help you get started:

Categories: Fashion, Father Knows Best

February 2

February 8th, 2009 Comments off

Never buy health products advertised on an infomercial.

Before you start to panic — Snuggies don’t count.

January 30

February 8th, 2009 Comments off

Don’t succumb to Casual Fridays.

It’s what’s know as a “gateway” dress code, leading to muumuus, tracksuits, and, in extreme cases, dickeys.

Categories: Fashion, Father Knows Best

January 22

January 22nd, 2009 Comments off

A dark suit and a dark tie is the acceptable attire when attending a funeral.

Unless it’s the funeral for Steve Jobs. Then black turtlenecks will also be accepted.