Archive for the ‘The Sporting Life’ Category

November 17

July 15th, 2013 Comments off

Should good fortune visit you, never ask why.

Should Wheel of Fortune visit you, never ask for a vowel.

October 11

January 2nd, 2011 Comments off

Never pass up a chance to play catch with a youngster.

Pro Tip: toddlers are easier to catch, but babies are easier to throw.

October 4

December 27th, 2010 Comments off

Every spring set out a couple of tomato plants.

After all, the summer theatre season is right around the corner.

September 23

December 1st, 2010 Comments off

Never call someone a coward. She could go to extreme measures to prove you wrong.

Like running for Vice President. Or President, for that matter.

August 6

December 28th, 2009 Comments off

Don’t own a boat. Have a friend who owns a boat.

And steal it.

July 22

December 21st, 2009 Comments off

Measure a man’s character not by his speed but by his direction.

And that’s why I’ve always said that Jeff Gordon is a man of counter-clockwise character.

May 6

June 14th, 2009 Comments off

Remember, when you beat an enemy, you still have an enemy.

But when an enemy beats you, you have a friend for life.

April 24

May 17th, 2009 Comments off

Never hire as your business partner someone who carries golf clubs in his car trunk.

Because country clubs frown on people driving their cars around the course. Or don’t they teach you that in “business” school?

March 8

March 7th, 2009 Comments off

Keep several irons in the fire.

You’ll get greater distance and less slicing.

February 6

February 11th, 2009 Comments off

Accept that once or twice you’ll have to hold your nose, close your eyes, and jump off life’s high board.

Whew, that’s a relief! I thought it was going to be “and sleep with Donald Trump.”