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Archive for the ‘Travel’ Category

November 16

April 17th, 2013 Comments off

Never book an interior cabin on a cruse ship.

Because they don’t have windows, and, without windows, how are you going to get rid of all the rats every morning?

October 26

June 3rd, 2012 Comments off

Don’t go where you don’t want to be found.

Unless you don’t want to be found. Then go there. And take D. B. Cooper his mail. It’s piling up.

Categories: Father Knows Best, Travel

October 24

September 10th, 2011 Comments off

When at a traffic signal, hold in your stomach for the length of the red light. This strengthens stomach muscles.

Don’t worry. The honking of the people behind you will revive you when you pass out.

October 21

July 10th, 2011 Comments off

Life is a term paper. Don’t wait until the last minute to get started.

Or, as Tom Cochrane put it:

“Life is a term paper…

I wanna write it all night long.”

 

October 18

April 6th, 2011 Comments off

Ask someone to pick up your mail and daily paper when you’re out of town. Those are the first two things potential burglars look for.

Because there’s nothing thieves covet more than the Tribune and Lands’ End catalogs.

Categories: Father Knows Best, Travel

October 14

April 3rd, 2011 Comments off

Don’t allow your children under the age of eighteen to drive a car after midnight.

Or it will turn into a pumpkin.

September 25

December 1st, 2010 Comments off

If you’re a stranger, don’t let darkness catch you in unfamiliar rural mountains.

And, whatever you do, don’t get in any banjo duels.

September 13

July 2nd, 2010 Comments off

Ask someone to pick up your mail and daily paper when you’re out of town. Those are the first two things potential burglars look for.

There’s nothing thieves covet more than the Tribune and Lands’ End catalogs.

September 7

June 28th, 2010 Comments off

Test-drive a Saturn SKY convertible.

You might like it so much, you’ll buy the company!

Categories: Father Knows Best, Travel, Work

September 5

June 21st, 2010 Comments off

Walk down the street where your grandparents grew up.

And it will be exactly the same as it was then. Really. Try it.

August 26

June 8th, 2010 Comments off

Never visit a new city without buying a tacky two- or three-dollar souvenir.

And remember, “tacky” means “sticky.”

August 24

June 8th, 2010 Comments off

Never turn down a chance to participate in a small-town parade.

Why leave it to chance? Just start walking down Main Street. Right now.

August 12

March 2nd, 2010 Comments off

Plan for the future. That’s where you’ll spend all your tomorrows.

Unless you’re Dr. Sam Beckett, of course.

June 8

July 30th, 2009 Comments off

When traveling, don’t leave behind personal mail or magazines that have your name and address.

“Darling, do you remember that week we spent in Paris?”

“How could I forget? I paid some of our loveliest bills from there.”

Categories: Father Knows Best, Travel