Archive for the ‘Travel’ Category

June 2

July 28th, 2009 Comments off

When visiting an unfamiliar city, carry the hotel’s business card with you in case you get lost or forget the location.

That way, the guy who pickpockets you will know where to go to get the rest of your stuff.

Categories: Father Knows Best, Travel

May 30

July 13th, 2009 Comments off

Travel with your own pillows.

And get your hands off mine.

Categories: Father Knows Best, Travel

May 28

July 12th, 2009 Comments off

Resist anything described as quaint.

Or quixotic. Or quazy.

Categories: Father Knows Best, Travel, Work

May 17

July 2nd, 2009 Comments off

Take off the convention badge as soon as you leave the convention hall.

Because you don’t want the hookers in the hotel bar to know your real name.

April 29

June 14th, 2009 Comments off

When driving in the country, wave to couples sitting together on their front porch.

Then throw your empty Starbucks cups out the window and yell, “Eat my dust, hicks!”

They’ll love that.

Categories: Father Knows Best, Travel

April 26

June 7th, 2009 Comments off

Don’t drive on slick tires.

Drive on paved roads instead.

Categories: Father Knows Best, Travel

March 24

March 30th, 2009 Comments off

Never place food on a hotel bedspread. They are cleaned infrequently.

Well there goes my traditional “meatloaf with mashed potatoes and hold the plates” room service order.

Categories: Father Knows Best, Food, Travel

March 11

March 12th, 2009 Comments off

When traveling, place your wallet, keys, and glasses on the bedside table in case of an emergency, or should you need to leave the room quickly.

Or, for extra security and efficiency, shove all your valuables in your underpants… and then never take them off.

Categories: Father Knows Best, Travel