Archive for the ‘Education’ Category

November 13

March 11th, 2013 Comments off

When asking a question, ask confidently.

Are you sure about that?

(Computer explodes.)

October 25

September 10th, 2011 Comments off

Become knowledgeable about antiques, oriental rugs, and contemporary art.

That way, when people see you eating out of a dumpster, you can slay them with irony.

October 21

July 10th, 2011 Comments off

Life is a term paper. Don’t wait until the last minute to get started.

Or, as Tom Cochrane put it:

“Life is a term paper…

I wanna write it all night long.”


October 19

June 24th, 2011 Comments off

Read a biography on Albert Schweitzer.

On his stomach, if he’s lying down. On the top of his head, if he’s seated. Definitely not on his lap. That’s creepy.

October 13

March 13th, 2011 Comments off

We all want to prove how right we are. Sometimes it’s better to prove how much we care.

Care about being right, that is.

October 7

January 1st, 2011 Comments off

You never sound as smart or appear as appealing as you think you do.

You also don’t have as many friends as you think you do. Happy birthday!

September 11

June 30th, 2010 Comments off

Position a ladder properly. It’s time well spent.

Just ask Blutarsky.

September 8

June 28th, 2010 Comments off

Encourage a good student to become a teacher.

So that the bad students can get all the really good jobs. You’re welcome.

August 27

June 8th, 2010 Comments off

Just one idea, one person, one book, and everything can change.

And, if you haven’t seen it, believe me, it’s a hell of a magic trick. That Copperfield’s amazing.

August 22

May 26th, 2010 Comments off

No need to strain yourself. Just one great idea a year is all that’s necessary.

No, “growing a soul patch” doesn’t count.

July 27

December 22nd, 2009 Comments off

On May 9, 1754, the first American newspaper cartoon was published. The illustration in Benjamin Franklin’s “Pennsylvania Gazette” showed a snake cut into sections, each part representing an American colony. The caption read, “Join or die.”

What a hoot! Bil Keane must have had a hand in that one.

July 24

December 22nd, 2009 Comments off

Consider silence. Sometimes it’s the perfect answer.

And good luck with those SATs.

Categories: Education, Mr. Know-It-All

July 23

December 21st, 2009 Comments off

Should you ever be called a genius, don’t dispute it.

Just accept the money, shake John D.’s hand, and sneak a wink at Catherine T.

June 26

October 13th, 2009 Comments off

After college, read only books you like. Should you find yourself reading one you don’t enjoy, skip to the last page and be done with it.

You got it.

December 31: Tonight, put a chocolate…

Okay. I’ll keep going.