Archive

Archive for June, 2010

September 12

June 30th, 2010 Comments off

Inspire an emerging local artist by buying a piece of his work.

The lower right corner is usually the best piece; you know, where his signature is.

September 11

June 30th, 2010 Comments off

Position a ladder properly. It’s time well spent.

Just ask Blutarsky.

September 10

June 29th, 2010 Comments off

Name a dog Hot Ticket.

Especially if it’s not your dog.

September 9

June 29th, 2010 Comments off

Leave a deserving server a ten-dollar tip. Hand it to her personally.

If your deserving server is male, punch him in the stomach and tell him to get a man’s job.

Categories: Mr. Know-It-All, Work

September 8

June 28th, 2010 Comments off

Encourage a good student to become a teacher.

So that the bad students can get all the really good jobs. You’re welcome.

September 7

June 28th, 2010 Comments off

Test-drive a Saturn SKY convertible.

You might like it so much, you’ll buy the company!

Categories: Father Knows Best, Travel, Work

September 5

June 21st, 2010 Comments off

Walk down the street where your grandparents grew up.

And it will be exactly the same as it was then. Really. Try it.

September 4

June 21st, 2010 Comments off

Discover the vastness of America by driving across Kansas.

Because Kansans are really fat.

Categories: Father Knows Best, Food

September 2

June 21st, 2010 Comments off

Self-expression stops when you encounter a police officer or judge. That’s what lawyers are for.

A lawyer’s also useful if you encounter a grizzly bear. Especially if the lawyer can’t run as fast as you.

September 3

June 21st, 2010 Comments off

Honor family traditions.

Unless they involve kazoos.

September 1

June 21st, 2010 Comments off

Never take for granted the often-ignored miracle of turning on a faucet and safely drinking the water that flows out.

Because, with your hand-eye coordination, that is a miracle.

August 31

June 8th, 2010 Comments off

At a family reunion, be the one who takes the most photographs.

Off the walls, out of albums, from the refrigerator door, it doesn’t matter – JUST TAKE THEM! WE’RE SICK OF LOOKING AT THEM!

August 29

June 8th, 2010 Comments off

When someone complains of a fever, touch his forehead with your hand then rush to get a cool cloth to soothe his brow. He will feel better just knowing you care.

This medical tip has been brought to you by The Health Insurance Companies of America, reminding you that, these days, doctors aren’t really necessary.

August 28

June 8th, 2010 Comments off

Choose a different flavor of ice cream each time you restock.

Just like Tiger Woods does.