Li’l Cal

Don’t be discouraged. Remember, to begin anything is usually to begin it badly.

Also remember: the Man, he ain’t so hard to understand.

Watch the clock, and you’ll always be just one of the hands.

Which must mean you’re looking in a mirror. And that the hands have eyes. And what about your hands – where are they? SOMEONE WAKE ME FROM THIS DALI-DESIGNED DREAM SEQUENCE!

When someone’s down, don’t pile on.

And when someone’s wearing down, don’t nylon.

Once a month visit an “Open House” in an area upscale to your own.

Because it’s so much fun seeing stuff you can never, ever have. Monthly.

Begin a collection of books with the word “wisdom” in the title.

Like “X-Men: Wisdom – Rudiments of Wisdom,” “Food Drying Techniques: Storey Country Wisdom Bulletin A-197,” and “Operative Extraction of Wisdom Teeth.”

Ask someone to pick up your mail and daily paper when you’re out of town. Those are the first two things potential burglars look for.

There’s nothing thieves covet more than the Tribune and Lands’ End catalogs.