Archive

Archive for April, 2011

October 18

April 6th, 2011 Comments off

Ask someone to pick up your mail and daily paper when you’re out of town.┬áThose are the first two things potential burglars look for.

Because there’s nothing thieves covet more than the Tribune and Lands’ End catalogs.

Categories: Father Knows Best, Travel

October 17

April 6th, 2011 Comments off

Once in a while pick up an unfamiliar magazine, thumb through it, and read the “letter from the editor.”

In other words, start living!


October 16

April 6th, 2011 Comments off

A snake will bite you even if you buy it ice cream.

Because HOW’S IT SUPPOSED TO HOLD THE CONE, YOU IDIOT?!

October 15

April 3rd, 2011 Comments off

No matter how many times you’ve been around the barn, there’s a chance you’ll step in something today that wasn’t there yesterday.

We’re talking about sex here, right?

October 14

April 3rd, 2011 Comments off

Don’t allow your children under the age of eighteen to drive a car after midnight.

Or it will turn into a pumpkin.