September 30

December 27th, 2010

There are ten things you do in private; two of which are cutting your toenails and using a toothpick.

The other eight are:

  • searching through Facebook for old girlfreinds
  • wittily answering Johnny Carson’s questions
  • writing entries in your revenge journal
  • celebrating Thanksgiving
  • planning investment strategies for your future lottery winnings
  • spellchecking your Craigslist response
  • celebrating your birthday
  • Wii Fit
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