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Archive for the ‘My Body Politic’ Category

Except the one.

November 25th, 2009 No comments
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A Plea for Civility

August 13th, 2009 No comments

Remember, no one likes being called stupid.
Especially, stupid people.

Cash for Clunkers theme song

July 31st, 2009 No comments

The “Cash for Clunkers” program has been very successful, but it would be out-of-this-world successful if it had a theme song like the “Kars 4 Kids” program has.

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Camp Wellstone

July 17th, 2009 No comments

I thought it would be fitting to start my Camp Wellstone adventure by sipping a latte. I just hope I don’t spill it all over the limousine.

Levi’s back!

July 15th, 2009 No comments
Levi Johnston speaks during a news conference in Anchroage, Alaska, on Thursday, July 9, 2009. Johnston, the former fiance of Gov. Sarah Palin's 18-year-old daughter, says he knows why the Alaska governor is resigning - for money. (AP Photo/Mark Thiessen)

Levi Johnston speaks during a news conference in Anchroage, Alaska, on Thursday, July 9, 2009. (AP Photo/Mark Thiessen)

Oh, Levi. Welcome back. We missed you so.

Here are the parts I especially liked from Mary Pemberton’s AP article:

Levi Johnston, 19, whose wedding to Bristol Palin was called off earlier this year, says he believes the governor is resigning over personal finances.

He claims he heard the governor several times say how nice it would be to take advantage of the lucrative deals that were being offered, including a reality show and a book.

Johnston made his comments at a news conference Thursday at the office of his attorney, Rex Butler.

Johnston came forward, Butler said, because Alaskans want to know why Palin has decided to resign. She made the announcement last Friday.

Johnston also is pursuing his own book deal. He is working as a carpenter while also pursuing a movie deal.

He held a press conference!

Because Alaskans want to know why she resigned!

His attorney’s name is Rex Butler!

As noted, Levi is also pursuing a book deal! He has more, exciting things to say!

I assume the book will be entitled, Keepin’ It Classy.

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Overheard at Al Franken’s swearing-in ceremony

July 8th, 2009 No comments

Franken Senate

“Welcome back, Senator.”

“Excuse me?”

“I said, welcome back.”

“Um, this is my first time here, Senator.”

“Sure. Since you ran for President.”

“I… I didn’t run for President, sir. I ran for the Senate.”

“Wait. Aren’t you the guy from that TV show?”

“Well-”

“With the cops and the chung-chung.”

“Oh. No, that’s Fred Thompson. I’m Al Franken. From Minnesota.”

“Oh, you’re the wrestler.”

“No. That’s Jesse-”

“The singer? With the mustache and the wife?”

“No, that’s-”

“The basketball player?”

“No.”

“The football coach?”

“No.”

“The guy from The Love Boat?”

“No.”

Dukes of Hazzard?”

“No, Senator. I’m Al Franken. From Saturday Night Live.”

“Oh. Well. I apologize, Al. I really do. My staff told me you were famous.” (exits)

(turns to CSPAN camera) “Live, from Washington, D.C. It’s the U.S. Senate!”

Categories: Celebrities!, My Body Politic Tags:

Errata and Clarifications Dept.

July 2nd, 2009 1 comment

GovWho

The caption for today’s photo was not correct, due to a printing error. It should have read:

Dsfdsfd

We regret the error.

I knocked you up, made you a national joke, then dumped you when once you had the kid, making you a national joke again — AND YOU’RE PISSED AT ME?!

April 5th, 2009 No comments

From the AP article, “Bristol Palin’s ex-fiancé cites tension with her”:

In an interview to air Monday with talk show host Tyra Banks, [Levi] Johnston, 19, said he and 18-year-old Bristol don’t always get along.

“Some days we can have regular conversations without fighting,” Johnston said. “Most of the times, I don’t know what’s wrong with her. She’s in a pretty bad mood, she’s short, she doesn’t want me around, I don’t think.”

 

Don’t worry about it, Levi. I’m sure it has nothing to do with you. It’s probably just that time of the month, amIright? (high five) Hey, did you get any from Tyra while you were there? DAMN, she’s hot!


Categories: My Body Politic, Photos Tags:

How to Win Friends and Influence People

March 14th, 2009 1 comment

sc0004cb4b

It’s true. The best way to get the citizens of Illinois to feel calmer about the prospect of the people around them carrying concealed guns is:

to gather a mob…
holding bright yellow and black signs…
with a giant picture of a pointed handgun…
and capitalized text telling them to accept it NOW!

 

(And who wrote that caption? “…that would let them people concealed weapons”?)

Categories: My Body Politic, News Briefs, Photos Tags:

All politics is local. All politicians are stupid.

March 12th, 2009 No comments

http://www.dailyherald.com/story/?id=278385

Some snippets from the article by Kimberly Pohl and Joseph Ryan:

Gary Skoien

Gary Skoien

 

Palatine Township Republican Committeeman Gary Skoien denies he was with two prostitutes when police say his wife attacked him early Sunday morning.

Skoien, the former Cook County GOP chairman, said he was visiting with two female friends at his Inverness home on the 500 block of Fairway Lane when, according to police accounts, his wife, Eni, became enraged and hit him.

“No money was exchanged. Nobody was naked,” Skoien, 55, said.

According to police accounts, Eni Skoien, a homemaker, discovered her husband and the two women when she came home around 1:15 a.m. Sunday. She told police she became enraged and hit her husband with a closed fist and several times with a toy guitar.

Skoien also said he and his wife have been estranged and living in separate parts of their large home.

[Barrington-Inverness Deputy Police Chief Jerry] Libit said Gary Skoien doesn’t face charges relating to solicitation because of a lack of evidence. The women had left the house by the time police responded. Skoien declined to identify the women.

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The Madigan Drag

March 2nd, 2009 No comments

Our new governor is too busy drafting the first realistic budget Illinois has had in at least a decade, so he does not have any time to spend right now addressing the state’s much-needed ethics and campaign finance reforms. Our state legislature does not have such an excuse, however. Their non-action seems all too familiar. Michael Madigan may not have liked Rod Blagojevich, but it was his lack of constituting, legislating, or enacting any meaningful changes that enabled the former governor’s abuses. So far, I’ve heard a bit of “the time is now” and “we must seize this opportunity” talk, but I have seen very little action. We should not let the Madigan Drag keep us mired in the mud.

Any suggestions?